DEADhost - One of the worst independent web hosts ever!

	domains and counting...
Hosting with a piece of my mind

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We specialise in providing low quality, high cost web hosting solutions to gullible people who fall for our adverts. We run extremely powerful Windows 3.1 servers with our custom-built PlywoodPANEL control panel system - the perfect solution for your pathetic and hopeless idea for a dotcom.

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Our servers are connected to a state-of-the-art 10mbit Ethernet network, reaching the outside world via a clunky, slow 33.6K modem. Because our system is of such a high quality, we are not afraid to share it. You can rest assured that if you decide to use our hosting service you will be sharing the same server with at least 3.2 million other people. Our community is one of the most friendly and overcrowed in the world.

The confidence we have in our equipment means that we can guarantee a massive 1.8% uptime - equal to or less than any other host of a similar poor quality. What's more, if we do not fail to reach this, we promise to tell you where to go within 24 days if you complain.

Check out our business deals...

DEADhost was hacked!
Well come on, what did you expect? Nice cow by the way.

We are so bad we won an award!
DEADhost was proud to come last in the recent European web host championships!

Our servers have been downgraded to Windows Me!
DEADhost is not afraid to invest in poor-quality software to enhance our users' misery.

Secure servers now available!
Rusty bolt and secret handshake security added on request for 250% fee.

Read about our company...

Our packages are some of the most hastily-assembled worthless pieces of junk you will find anywhere on the web. Whether it's our Security Compromise Basic Package, our Mind Your Own Business Package or one of our other equally pathetic "services", we're sure we'll have something that doesn't suit your needs.

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This is an interactive site. Touch, feel, mess about. You won't break anything. Much.

Fault Reports

Sign up for occasional spoof fault reports from DEADhost. We'll let you know when our server room is flooded or infested with mice via email.

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