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All the features of our Security Compromise Basic package, plus:
- Additional 256KB webspace
- Automatic corruption of valuable customer data via misleading web interface
- Control panel accessible only out of business hours for extra slowness and loss of control
- Support available by proprietary encrypted email that you don't have
- Free "visit this porn site" footer added to all outgoing emails
- Free popup, under, around and inside adverts to annoy your visitors
- Free publication of damaging personal secrets in tabloid newspapers
- Free links to your competitors on your site
And at a bankruptcy-defying £4999.95/mo it's ideal for wasting your hard-sought start-up funds on!
And don't forget:
All new accounts come with same-century set up and thousands of pence worth of free software, including:
- Something that will jam your mouse solid and make it impossible to turn your computer off
- Exclusive new virus package including: The Hong Kong Worm, Data-Eater 98, and RAM-Breaker 2
- Top 10 game demos from 1989 - they're on the CD but you'll never find them.
So what are you waiting for? The number 72 bus?! Sign up now, moron, before we storm your house and nick your furniture.
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Sign in now to cripple the server from your admin panel.
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| This is an interactive site. Touch, feel, mess about. You won't break anything. Much. |
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Sign up for occasional spoof fault reports from DEADhost. We'll let you know when our server room is flooded or infested with mice via email.
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DeadBrain UK
DeadBrain US
Award-winning satire of current events.
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